Scooter's Redneck JokesFunny Redneck PicturesHeya there and welcome to my redneck joke webpage. I've tried to collect as many redneck jokes in between picking up roadkill and collecting old cars! I hope you enjoy my collection of funny jokes! Cletus's Christmas You might be a redneck if you give Santa three pickled eggs
and a cold one instead of cookies and milk. Re: DNA Test Results: Clinton, William Jefferson The test on the dress came back inconclusive. Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA. Apologies, The FBI
There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ''Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!'' ''Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!'' the redneck yelled back. The buckeye replied, ''Hain't no way, buddy. I know you
think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight
off!'' You know you're a redneck when the biggest city you've been
to is Wal-Mart. An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty
day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as
the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy
then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed
a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped
up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon. "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips." "And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked. "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The
office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "What are their names?" he asked. "David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered. "They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars. You might be a redneck if you think the first four words
of the national anthem are, ''Gentlemen start your engines''. Q: What is a double-wide salad?
You know you're a redneck if you have sex ed and drivers
ed in the same car. One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend.
The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. After Dubya was finished he said, "Mmm mmm, that was good! But tell me, do you Jewish folks eat other parts of the matzo, or just the balls?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Atlanta School Board The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over "Ebonics," has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary: HEIDI -- noun. Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is
Hot-lanta. MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division. IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native." RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. FAR -- noun. A conflagration. BAHS -- noun. A supervisor. TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel. TIRE -- noun. A tall monument. RETARD -- Verb. To stop working. TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted. FAT -- noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat. ARE -- pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective. RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege. FARN -- adjective. Not local. DID -- adjective. Not alive. EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in
LA). BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable. JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction. HAZE -- a contraction. SEED -- verb, past tense. VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun. HEAVY DEW -- phrase. A request for action. GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
What does a redneck say before he gets injured? “Watch
this!” There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife
calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be
careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the
wrong way on Route 280!''
What do you call the moisture between two people having
sex in Alabama?
This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a
mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from
round here are ya?" "I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy,
a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play
at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said,
"we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’".
"It's easy'' said the Spanish boy, "we can play it next recess." So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. "Alright," said the Spanish boy, "Lets play." The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner. And so the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy's. As the redneck boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe. "You win for sure," they both said. Later that day the redneck boy went home and his mother asked him, "So did you make any new friends today?" "Yup. I played this game called ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’ and the other boys said I won because I'm a redneck." His mother laughed and replied, "No sweetie, you won because you're 23."
A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her
arm. She passes a person who asks, ''Where did you get that?''
A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please
read the following carefully. 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: ''These toys insured by Smith and Wesson.'' 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus's sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear ''On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...'' when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, ''On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin, and Labonte, on Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty.'' 5. ''Ho, ho, ho!'' has been replaced by ''Yee Haw!'' And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, ''I her'd dat!'' 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus's sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words ''Back Off!'' The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as ''Miracle on 34th Street'' and ''It's a Wonderful Life'' will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see ''Boss Hogg Saves Christmas'' and ''Smokey and the Bandit IV'' featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like ''Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer'' and Bing Crosby's ''Santa Claus is Coming to Town.'' This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's ''Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's ''All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s ''If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It.'' Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two
best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything
together. The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes." "What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard, The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin'. When what to muh whiskey blind eyes should I see More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came Now CLIFFORD! Now VERNON! Now LESTER and ENUS! From the top of the shack to them there garbage bins I heard a loud sound on the roof of muh shack. He wore a T-shirt, rebel flag on the front, His eyes, how they glazed from too much Wild Turkey. The butt of a Marlboro clung to his lip He was gap-toothed and dumb with an I.Q. of three He reached in his sack, sipped his gin and tonic, He gave us a tape of them hound dogs that sing Jingle Bells. When the presents were gone and he had no more, He hopped in his truck, to his sheep gave an order --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Designated drunkard Rednecks don't let friends drive
home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them. What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each
arm? You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an
ashtray! A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy
at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled,
"I resent that!" The redneck looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!
Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed
Jed where he'd first had sex. "That sounds wonderful," said Jed. "Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us." "Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?" "Baaaaa..."
1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree
that will support a 10 pound possum. Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the
woods. Q: Why did God invent armadillos? How can you tell if a redneck is married? You might be a redneck if you drive your truck through a
metal detector...and it doesn't go off. A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were fighting in a war,
and both were caught by the enemy. "Sure," the man agreed. "How about you?" The Tennessee man said, "COuld you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabam?"
A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police
for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his
sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew
driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license,
boy." The young man handed over his license. The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!" The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint. Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bub was drinking it up with Jerry Lee Jones. Billy Bub soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden Billy Bub spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Jerry Lee. When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy Bub said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on route 109. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!"
You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting
a deer at 60 miles an hour. There was this redneck that walked into a bar and ordered
a beer. While he was waiting on his drink he noticed a jar of money sitting
on the counter. When the bartender came back the redneck asked the bartender
about the money. The redneck was puzzled so he asked again. "What exactly is this money for." The bartender replied. "Well, We have a goat outside and he just lays there and never moves or hollers or anything and who ever can make him holler gets this money." So the redneck finished him beer and goes outside. He comes back in and the goat is laughing so hard and can't stop. The bartender askes how he did it and the Redneck won't answer. So the redneck walks out of the bar with the money. A week later the Redneck comes in and sees the same bartender. He orders the same thing. And this time he sees another jar of money. He askes the bartender what this money was for. The bartender replies "Well, ever sence you got that goat to laugh, we can't get him to stop. So we made another jar. Who ever can get that goat to stop laughing gets the money." So, just like last time he finished his beer and went out side. Well when he came in, the goat was crying. The bartender was wondering how he did it and the redneck replied, "A redneck never lets out his secrets." So, he took his money and left. About a week later the redneck came back and he saw another jar of money. So, he asked the bartender what this jar was. The bartender replied "Well, you have us all wondering how you did it. First you made him laugh then you made him cry and we want to know how you did it." The redneck just sat there laughing. He says "Well, to make him laugh, I told him my penis was bigger than his and to make him cry, well, I proved it to him."
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't
going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba. The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?" "I sure do," answered the redneck. "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor. "That's real good," the redneck responded in awe. The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house." Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!" "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife." "Betty Mae! This is incredible!" "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor. "You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of! I cain't wait to take this here logic class." Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting. "So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks. "Math, history and logic," replies Bubba. Cooter says, "What in tarnation is logic?" "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?" "No." "You're a queer, ain't ya?"
What does NASCAR stand for? Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks
A redneck taped toilet paper to his television.
You might be a redneck if you have ever been asked to leave
a yardsale You might be a redneck if you can french kiss with a toothpick
in your mouth. Home Dear Ma and Pa Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men gots to shave but it is not so bad, as they get warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, black eyed peas, grits, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags something awful. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get into this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Gail
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96. When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
You might be a redneck if your daddy walked you to school
and you are both in the same grade. How do you know the Toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?
Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?
Q: What do you call 32 Rednecks in one room?
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one. Love, Ma -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?
One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One
of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to
ask what was in the sack. The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack. ''Well I'll tell you,'' replied the man, ''If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I'll give them both to you.''
Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front
of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa?
Two women, one from the north and one from the south, are
seated next to one another on a plane. "Don't you know you should NEVER end a sentence with a preposition?" The southern woman thinks about this for a second. "Where you flyin' to, bitch?"
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington
are they still brother and sister? A new law recently passed in Arkansas. Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,
Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one
of these may be the president someday.) Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs.
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas? They would tell the women to try another brother.
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