Duckshit
Funny Jokes and Dirty Jokes
Walker told me I have aids
Posted on 11.04.06 3:47AM under Chuck Norris Jokes
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Posted by bonsaiii on 11.06.06 9:48 pm
Chuck Norris created giraffes when he uppercutted a horse.
Posted by dena on 12.01.06 4:59 pm
a horse or your mom?
Posted by Nathnaiel on 12.05.06 10:10 pm
what’s the difference?
Posted by matt on 12.15.06 2:59 pm
one is less slutty…and by that i mean his mom
Posted by Denis on 12.20.06 6:30 pm
Chuck Norris’ alter ego is Jesus Christ.
Posted by chucky on 01.01.07 6:14 pm
Chuck Norris does not fart, the last time he did he split the Red Sea and let Moses and followers walk on through.
Posted by Matthew on 04.08.07 6:30 pm
In 1965 Dupont created a synthetic of Chuck Norris’ beard trimmings known today by it’s scientific name of Kevlar. This is why there are four common grades of Kevlar; Kevlar, Kevlar 29, Kevlar 49, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the Starring Game.
Immediately after Chuck Norris was born, the doctor slapped him on the bottom which broke the doctor’s hand.
If you play Led Zeppelin’s song “Stairway to Heaven” backwards you can hear the message “Here’s to my sweet Chuck Norris.”
Posted by Zach on 04.13.07 6:36 pm
there are no Chuck Norris jokes, only Chuck Norris facts.
Posted by jon on 06.13.07 7:50 am
i fucked a gorila chuck norris happened to be wearing a gorila costume that same day
Posted by coty on 07.09.07 8:15 pm
chuck norris’ terds don’t float they swim
Posted by cody on 07.26.07 7:55 pm
chuck norris once gave a man a complete sex change with his eyes
Posted by Anonymous on 08.15.07 7:46 pm
Brad Pitt claims to had have sex with over 20,000 women in his life. Chuck Norris calls that a slow Tuesday.
Posted by Nizbit on 08.21.07 5:32 pm
Telemarketers never take no for an answer from Chuck Norris - they don’t have the balls to call.
Chuck Norris never asks for the money shot; he simply takes out an eye.
Posted by Uncle Gianni on 09.02.07 11:33 am
Dinosaurs were wiped out by Chick Norris
Posted by Mr. Petrelli on 09.12.07 5:31 am
Chuck Norris counted to infinity………twise!
Posted by Chuck norris on 09.30.07 10:52 pm
Chuck norris doesnt helicopter, he hurricanes
Posted by guy on 11.02.07 10:22 pm
When chuck noriss gives u the finger,hes showing you how many seconds you have to live
Posted by RyanWilkinson on 11.08.07 5:53 pm
Chuck Norris.. CAN believe it’s not butter.
Posted by Brian Moore on 11.25.07 4:14 pm
Chuck Norris does NOT have blond hair. He does not need to bleach it though. The Darkness is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris decided to travel back in time to fight some crime. These true events were made into a comic book. The original name of Walker:Texas Ranger was too long and too pompous for the humble Chuck Norris. Instead he had the name changed to simply SUPERMAN.
Posted by T-Cal on 12.07.07 9:35 am
All niggers should be killed
Posted by Michele on 12.12.07 5:14 pm
mother theresa, ghandi, and chuck norris all died and went to heaven. upon arriving they saw god sitting in a throne with a chair on either side of him. mother theresa took the seat at gods left, ghandi took the seat at gods right, chuck norris looked at god and said youre in my damn seat.
Posted by Jesse Gallant on 01.05.08 11:00 pm
Every now and then some one will try and claim that Chuck Norris doesn’t really exist, it’s really hard to find such a person as most end up in the morgue as a result of ’roundhouse kick’ related death.
To punish non-believers Chuck Norris will occasionally spare one of them the pain of a roundhouse kick related death and instead stare at them until they turn into a platypus. You didn’t think those things reproduced on there own did you?
Posted by Dan on 01.06.08 1:31 pm
Most celebrities introduce the politician at a campaign rally, but when Chuck Norris goes to a rally Mike Huckabee introduces him.
Posted by buttweeze on 01.15.08 1:32 pm
Archaeologists have just discovered that Chuck Norris ripped the arms off of the Venus de Milo and used them to beat the pants off of Michelangelo’s David.
Posted by buttweeze on 01.15.08 1:36 pm
Weebles fall down when Chuck Norris glances at them. Then they crap their pants.
Posted by flibbityfloo on 04.05.08 6:50 pm
Chuck Norris x 0 = Chuck Norris
Posted by Izodn on 04.11.08 10:19 pm
Jesus had the ability to write the destiny of man kind, and gave Chuck Norris the ability to roundhouse kick, Jesus now works in chuck Norris’ office, handing out applications for part-time angels.
Posted by Izodn on 04.11.08 10:21 pm
the rules of Chuck Norris applies to gravity!