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Chuck Norris created giraffes when he uppercutted a horse.
a horse or your mom?
what’s the difference?
one is less slutty…and by that i mean his mom
Chuck Norris’ alter ego is Jesus Christ.
Chuck Norris does not fart, the last time he did he split the Red Sea and let Moses and followers walk on through.
In 1965 Dupont created a synthetic of Chuck Norris’ beard trimmings known today by it’s scientific name of Kevlar. This is why there are four common grades of Kevlar; Kevlar, Kevlar 29, Kevlar 49, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the Starring Game.
Immediately after Chuck Norris was born, the doctor slapped him on the bottom which broke the doctor’s hand.
If you play Led Zeppelin’s song “Stairway to Heaven” backwards you can hear the message “Here’s to my sweet Chuck Norris.”
there are no Chuck Norris jokes, only Chuck Norris facts.
i fucked a gorila chuck norris happened to be wearing a gorila costume that same day
chuck norris’ terds don’t float they swim
chuck norris once gave a man a complete sex change with his eyes
Brad Pitt claims to had have sex with over 20,000 women in his life. Chuck Norris calls that a slow Tuesday.
Telemarketers never take no for an answer from Chuck Norris – they don’t have the balls to call.
Chuck Norris never asks for the money shot; he simply takes out an eye.
Dinosaurs were wiped out by Chick Norris
Chuck Norris counted to infinity………twise!
Chuck norris doesnt helicopter, he hurricanes
When chuck noriss gives u the finger,hes showing you how many seconds you have to live
Chuck Norris.. CAN believe it’s not butter.
Chuck Norris does NOT have blond hair. He does not need to bleach it though. The Darkness is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris decided to travel back in time to fight some crime. These true events were made into a comic book. The original name of Walker:Texas Ranger was too long and too pompous for the humble Chuck Norris. Instead he had the name changed to simply SUPERMAN.
All niggers should be killed
mother theresa, ghandi, and chuck norris all died and went to heaven. upon arriving they saw god sitting in a throne with a chair on either side of him. mother theresa took the seat at gods left, ghandi took the seat at gods right, chuck norris looked at god and said youre in my damn seat.
Every now and then some one will try and claim that Chuck Norris doesn’t really exist, it’s really hard to find such a person as most end up in the morgue as a result of ’roundhouse kick’ related death.
To punish non-believers Chuck Norris will occasionally spare one of them the pain of a roundhouse kick related death and instead stare at them until they turn into a platypus. You didn’t think those things reproduced on there own did you?
Most celebrities introduce the politician at a campaign rally, but when Chuck Norris goes to a rally Mike Huckabee introduces him.
Archaeologists have just discovered that Chuck Norris ripped the arms off of the Venus de Milo and used them to beat the pants off of Michelangelo’s David.
Weebles fall down when Chuck Norris glances at them. Then they crap their pants.
Chuck Norris x 0 = Chuck Norris
Jesus had the ability to write the destiny of man kind, and gave Chuck Norris the ability to roundhouse kick, Jesus now works in chuck Norris’ office, handing out applications for part-time angels.
the rules of Chuck Norris applies to gravity!
chuck norris can wiin a game of connect four in three moves
Quickest way to make a bonfire
Step one: get a pile of wood
step two: have chuck Norris stare it down until it lights itself
Humans evolved from apes after Chuck Norris kicked the apes
Chuck Norris’s license plate is just a picture of his fist
Like it or not, according to your girlfriend Chuck Norris smokes after sex
Chuck Norris is not gay, compared to him all men are pussies and chuck loves pussy
Internet moves at 4 speeds: Dial-up (ancient and slow), DSL (okay 5 years ago), Cable (pretty
good) and Chuck Norris (faster than lightning and virus free)
chuck norris is the reason waldows hiding àáâãäåæçïîíìëêéèñòóôõöøœÿýüûúùß¿¥¤§ß
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