Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Santa Clause once allowed Chuck Norris to supervise Christmas. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris does not need vicks vapor rub for his stuffy nose. With a swift roundhouse kick to his own face, the symptoms of post nasal drip vanish. Not even a stuffy nose can stop Chuck Norris.
chuck norris sleeps with a night light on, not because he is afraid of the dark… but because the dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Noris HAS been to infinity, and beyond.
Chuck Norris once entered an eating competition. Unfortunately, he did not know you were supposed to eat the food. He just ate all of his competitors.
Chuck Norris was originally cast in the movie Jurassic Park. But after he killed all the dinosaurs single handedly, there was no point left. They told him he was fired. At this he began to kill everyone on the set, besides Jeff Goldblum who was still in the rubble of the building. This is why Goldblum is the only one in the 2nd movie.
There is a religion called Norrisism, who belive Chuck Norris is Jesus reborn.
Chuck Norris killed the radio star. And the video.
Chuck Norris is the sole reason for the endagered species list, he does not like Siberian white tiger burgers, he just eats them because he can. He is Chuck Norris, no one questions him!
Some turd sink, and some turds float. All of Chuck Norris’ turds turn into tonka trucks.
Who the hell is Chuck Norris? Can someone explain?
chuck norris was walking down the street one day when he tripped over his left foot. he immediatley got up and roundhouse kicked his left foot for the catastrophe that it had caused
chuck norris travelled back in time to assassinate Martin Luther King Jr. not for hatred of the blacks… but for love of the master race which happened to be … chuck norris himself and the 1985 chicago bears
chuck norris solved the paradox of what happens when an unstoppable force hits a immovable object when he roundhouse kicked himself.
One day chucks wife burnt a turkey..chuck said not to worry, then went into the back yard….5 minutes later he brings in a live turkey and eats it alive…he then pukes it up and it is cooked with a side of cranberry sauce…when his wife asked how he did that chuck responded with a round house kick to the face and said” never question chuck norris”!!!
When chuck norris donates blood, he passes on the needle and asks for a hand gun and bucket
the farts chuck norris lets out are all silent and deadly
fuck josh wills
before the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet to see if chuck norris is in it
when God sins, He prays to Chuck Norris for forgiveness
Chuck Norris wouldn’t do anything for a Klondike bar. And he didn’t save any money on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Chuck Norris doesn’t pay for sex, sex pays for Chuck Norris!
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist act; it was a stray roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris during his vacation in New York.
Chuck Norris once walk down the street with a boner….. there were no survivers
Chuck Norris doesnt tea bag women…. he Potato sacks them
chuck norris got connect four in 3 moves
Who would win in a fight, chuck norris or god? ANSWER: Neither, chuck norris is god.
every time chuck noris does push ups……… the world moves down
Chuck Norris has 2 speeds… walk and kill
Chuck norris enjoys bird watching in his spare time and bybird i mean killing and by watching i mean retards
If you ever dont know the answer to a question answer ,”Chuck Norris”.
Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass…at night.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter, he round house’s cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
Chick Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits…
fuck chuck norris
when chuck norris was a teenager he had sex with all the nuns in a convent tucked away in the himalays. ( months later, these nuns gave birth to the 1972 miami dolphins football team , the only undefeated team in NFL history.
Chuck norris can divide by zero
chuck norris knows where carmen san diego is
chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad
beneath chuck norris’ beard is not a chin, but another fist
one time chuck norris’ girlfreind asked chuck how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could wood? he replied with “BITCH! HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE HOUSE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. with her bloody throat in his hand he stated “dont fuck with chuck!” 2 years and 5 months later he realized the irony in this statement and laughed tremendously. everyone within a 100 mile radius was forever deaf after the blast
Chuck Norris invented the Jalapeno pepper to help train his taste buds to the same level of strength as the rest of his body.
Chuck Norris has his own magnetic field; indeed, he is the cause of the unexplained energy of Earth’s north and south poles.
Chuck Norris has transcended physical flesh…then transcended pure energy to become flesh again. He’s that good.
Chuck Norris doesnt misspell any words, and if he does websters will change the spelling of that word for fear of a swift roundhouse kick to the face.
What Do You Get If You Cross Vicaden And Chuck Norris???? NUMCHUCKS!
chuck norris isn’t hung like a horse, horses are hung like chuck norris
The Dust Bowl was actually caused by Chuck Norris playing Skip-It in his backyard
chuck norris’s tears cure cancer….. to bad he never crys.
chuck norris sold his soul to satan for unbeatible martial art skills, after this he kicked satans ass and took back his soul… satan, the lover of irony, respected this so much that now they play poker every tuesday.
what do you get when you cross chuck norris and a elephant? Nothing because nothing crosses chuck norris
this is chuck norris and because i found out about this site i will delete the inretnet
Chuck Norris once drove to all fifty states.
If you can’t see Chuck Norris he can see you!
Chuck Norris once went to Tibet where he stood in the middle of a cold valley to meditate..he then dropped his pants to release his gigantic animalsitic cock and when the force of it hit the ground he created mountains..the most famous being Everest.
Chuck Norris finally proved the pathagorean theory by giving pathagorean a swift roundhouse
you people are pretty retarded i have seen jokes about chuck befor and some of you posted them up their in your own version of it that looks fucking retarded half of you little fucks dont even no who chuck norris is and some of you no who he is threw “Walker texis ranger” but do you no what movies he has played in befor that and just so you no little dumb asses that post after this you probly looked on the internet now all you little jack off’s go get a damn life.
Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass…at night. Yeg that was funny shit right there and just so you all no chuck norris can UNscramble an egg….
Chuck Norris doesnt need martial arts, martial arts needs Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesnt bleed blood, he bleeds chocolate milk
Once asked, “Chuck Norris, whats you secret weapon” Chuck Norris replied, “Chuck Norris has no secret weapon bitch, Chuck Norris has the roundhous”
one day chuck norris was strolling on the sidewalk when a blind man stepped on his foot chuck yelled “don’t you know who i am?!? Im Chuck Norris!” the mere sound of his voice cured the mans blindness…sadly the first, last, and only thing the man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the head
chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding
before he forgot a gift for chuck norris, santa was real
bullets dodge chuck norris
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
chuck norris counted to infiniti
TWICE
Chuck Norris can light cigarettes under water.
Chuck Norris’s name spelled backwards is “roundhouse kick to the face”
Chuck norris has not and will not ever die. Jesus has died twice.
My name is Dustin Norris….no relation to roundhouse Chuck.
Chuck Norris wears Sex Panther Cologne.
Mr T wasn’t born black, Chuck beat him so bad that the bruises never healed.
Once, Chuck Norris stubbed his toe accidentally. Ohio was destroyed.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Chuck Norris was not birthed normally, rather, he punched his way out of the womb.
Chuck Norris has never gotten a jeopardy question wrong. Currently, Jesus has missed two.
Chuck Norris went back in time to stop the JFK assasination. When the trigger was pulled, all three bullets bounced off of Chuck Norris’ beard. JFK’s head exploded in sheer amazement.
Once, a man asked Chuck Norris if his real name was “Charles”. Chuck Norris stared at the man until he exploded.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by walking towards her and saying “booya”.
Chuck Norris can shoot down a german plane by pinting at it and saying “bam”
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds from death.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, it is because he has run out of women.
The Alien vs. Predator movie was originally meant to be Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris. However, the concept was rejected by previewers because no-one wanted to pay $8 to see a 14 second movie.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Since Chuck Norris’ birth, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13000%.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights. So far, they have not been successful.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck
Norris allows to live.
Helen Keller’s favourite color is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t kick ass and take names, rather, he kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. Currently the count is in the billions.
“Brokeback Mountain” isnt just the name of a movie, it’s also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas on hid front lawn.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
Chuck Norris puts the caramel in the Caramilk Bars
Chuck Norris doesn’t buy steaks the cows come to him
Osama is alive only because Chuck Norris lets him live.
Chuck Norris created the equator.
Chuck Norris creates tornados.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave. he just kicks himself in the face.
chuck norris once roundhouse kicked me so hard the doctor had to screw all my family members heads back on
Chuck Norris has already been to mars, that is why there is no sign of life
Jesus died for our sins… because he owed Chuck Norris a favor.
Chuck Norris once did a photo spread for Playgirl. It was only viewed by a test audience who all suffered from arousal induced comas.
Chuck Norris makes Wilt Chamberlain look like a virgin.
Chuck Norris doesn’t climb mountains, he roundhouse kicks them out of the way.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go to the bathroom, the bathroom goes to him.
Chuck Norris doesn’t use miniblinds, everyone just knows better than to look.
Earthquakes are a result of Chuck Norris kicking the ground.
Chuck Norris once recorded a gangster rap album, but it was never released because it was just too gangster.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard is dead because Chuck Norris “didn’t like the cut of his jib”.
Guns were originally invented to even the playing field between normal people and Chuck Norris. No one had anticipated that his body hair would be stronger than Kevlar.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words… because a roundhouse kick to the face says it all.
Superman wears chuck norris pyjamas
Chuck was the original pick for Luke Skywalker, but was fired after having accidentaly destroyed the death star by the flick of his fingers
The dark is afraid of chuck
Chuck norris once killed a 10 000 pound bear chopped it into 10 000 pieces and fed it to a school of salmon, just for the irony
Just one person cried when Chuck Norris was born, the doctor. NEVER slap Chuck Norris!!!111!!one1!!!
when einstien said nothing would ever travel faster than the speed of light chuck norris did
chuck norris invented water
When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water he doesnt get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris’d!
Chuck Norris once fought me but I kicked his ass so bad that his acting carrer abruptly ended because of the damage done to his face. You may wonder about the Walker series and the late not telemarketing comercials he does but there all reruns.
Chuck Norris can impregnate a women after menopause
chuck norris sucks. he isn’t god, and he isn’t a very good actor. stop worshiping him u fucknuts
Chuck Norris doesn’t smoke dope………
He smokes napalm.
If you masturbate, Chuck Norris will come to your house, call you a pussy, have sex with 23 women in front of you, and eat a kitten.
The reason Alexandria the Prophet’s above post ^ doesn’t have any punctuation on the end is because a roundhouse kick to the head from Chuck Norris dropped her before she could finish the sentence.
The only reason she got past the words “chuck norris sucks” is because Chuck Norris let her.
When Chuck Norris goes shopping, employees of the store don’t ask him if he needs help with anything. They ask him if he will help them.
He responds by roundhouse kicking them to the face.
The reason Alexandra the Prophet’s above post ^ doesn’t have punctuation is because a swift roundhouse kick to the head from Chuck Norris dropped her before she could finish the sentence. The only reason she got past “Chuck norris sucks” is because Chuck Norris let her.
once while chuck norris was sparring with wolverine chuck lost his left testicle.. you may now know this by its technical name…Jupiter
Chuck Norris stared down Medusa and SHE turned to stone.
Chuck Norris can teach an old dog new tricks.
One day, on the set of Walker: Texas Ranger, the director yelled “CUT” in the middle of a fight scene. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the director for interrupting a genious at work. He then proceeded to direct the rest of the episode himself, while banging the director’s wife.
Chuck Norris was in the movie theater watching one of his favorite action films, when someone stood up in front of the screen, blocking Chuck’s view. There were no survivors.
chuck norris actually drove the general lee in the dukes of hazard
chuck norris does not need to kick ass. people kick their own asses when he comes around.
there are no atomic bombs, just chuck norris.
any mortal(the non chuck norris) trying a roundhouse kick is put to death in 42 states.
chuck norris doesnt like the pleasure of sex, sex likes the pleasure of chuck norris.
Austrailia and Indonesia are the result of Chuck Norris running from Shanghai to India with a pair a sissors against the ground.
CHUCK NORRIS ALREADY FUCK ALL THIS SLUTS ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SCREEN.
CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T SHIT.
CHUCK NORRIS CREATED WATER.
CHUCK NORRIS EVAPORATED OSAMA THATS WHY NOBODY Can find him.
Chuck Norris is the only man alive to know all 12 spices in Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire bottle of Ipicac and not vomit.
Chuck Norris can play with fire. He never gets burned.
Loose lips don’t sink ships. Chuck Norris sinks ships.
Temperature does not go below zero, cuz Chuck said so.
Chuck Norris invented the law of physics.
Chuck Norris’ face is on the Million Dollar Bill.
Yoko Ono didn’t break up The Beatles. Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris once watched “Gone In 60 Seconds”, he then stole Nicholas Cage’s car in 30. The other 30 seconds were used to roundhouse kick everyone involved in “The Fast and The Furious”.
Prince did not turn his name into a symbole. Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris can rhyme with the word “orange”.
Chuck Norris shot the Sherrif,and the Deputy.
Chuck Norris is not afraid of the Devil. The Devil is afraid of Chuck.
Chuck Norris gets high off of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris did not grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, Chuck Norris does.
Katrina didn’t sink New Orleans. Chuck Norris did.
The 10 Comandments were written by Chuck Norris and handed down to God.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sit at the right hand of God. God sits to the left of Chuck.
Video did not kill the radio star, Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Hilary duff. Chuck hates Duff.
Chuck Norris has only one son Arnold Shwarzenegger.
Gatorade does not quench your thirst. Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris does not get off on webcam, webcam gets off on Chuck.
God didn’t invent the rapture, Chuck Norris did.
When asked about Scientology, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Tom Cruise in the face.
Chuck Norris was once challenged to a fight by Jean Claude Van Damme. He proceeded to rip off Van Damme’s leg and beat him with the “gooey” end.
Do not call Ghostbusters. Simply call Chuck Norris.
The roundhouse kick does not originate from martial. ONly from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can see dead ppl, he just gives the credit to that kid from the movie.
Chuck Norris invented Black ppl.
Chuck Norris invented boobs.
Chuck Norris invented STD’s so he could leave a piece of him self with every women hes been with.
Chuck Norris is the soul heir to the $$ made by prostitution.
Chuck Norris is Paris Hilton’s Pimp.
Chuck Norris invented sun-light.
Chuck Norris does not lose an erection, he’s always ready and flexed for a fight.
CHUCK NORRIS IS GOD!!!
Chuck Norris got a stitch off roundhouse kicking too much. He got rid of the stitch straight away after roundhouse kicking it himself.
Chuck Norris can rip off all his limbs and still beat you in an ass kicking contest.
Chuck Norris’ tounge has a bigger cock than you.
Chuck Norris doesnt smoke, he just allows the fumes the pleasure to enter his lungs.
chuck norris invented white ppl!
dutch men are 1% of chuck norris!
If you’re not gettin it from your girl, shes gettin it from Chuck Norris
Scotty doesn’t know.. but Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris is the reason we all fall down during ring around the rosy.
If rock beats sissors, and sissors beats paper, but paper beats rock. What beats all of them at the same time????……Answer CHUCK NORRIS
chuck norris once challanged mike tyson to a boxing match he entered the ring with 2 ears then after a few seconds he left with 3
chuck norris once killed an entire 5th grade class, halfway thourgh a round house kick
YOU ARE ALL DORKS,
The Loch Ness monster is actualy an over grown child of chuck norris, Banished to scotland for not having long enough legs to perform the round-house kick.
.The Loch Ness monster is actualy an over grown child of chuck norris, Banished to scotland for not having long enough legs to perform the round-house kick.
..The Loch Ness monster is actualy an over grown child of chuck norris, Banished to scotland for not having long enough legs to perform the round-house kick.
chuck norris’s dick has a hemi
Mr. T and Chuck Noriss walk into a bar and it explodes because you can’t fit that much awesome into one room.
Chuck Norris is so cool Bars walk into him.
There’s a reason Jesus has a beard, adn that’s chuck Norris, adn BEcause Chuck Norris is god it also means Jesus is Chuck Norris, because only chuck Norris can breed Chuck Norris, which leads us to the conclusion that chuck Norris did indeed lose his virginity before his dad did. His Dad was Joseph. His Mother the Virgin Mary. All CHuck Norris had to do was say “Booyah.”
Superman and Flash have a race to the end of the Universe who get’s there first? Trick question CHuck Norris has been there twice!
Mr. T and Chuck Noriss walk into a bar and it explodes because you can’t fit that much awesome into one room.
Chuck Norris is so cool Bars walk into him.
There’s a reason Jesus has a beard, adn that’s chuck Norris, adn BEcause Chuck Norris is god it also means Jesus is Chuck Norris, because only chuck Norris can breed Chuck Norris, which leads us to the conclusion that chuck Norris did indeed lose his virginity before his dad did. His Dad was Joseph. His Mother the Virgin Mary. All CHuck Norris had to do was say “Booyah.”
Superman and Flash have a race to the end of the Universe who get’s there first? Trick question CHuck Norris has been there twice!
chuck noris vactioned int he virgin islands… it is now called the islands.
hah i got u all beat, I know chuck norris’s martial arts instructor, and his name is greg tearny ahahaha
when you can see chuck norris, chuck norris can see you.
when you cant see chuck norris, you may be only seconds away from death
chuck norris doesn’t have pick-up lines, he just says “now”
once chuck norris roundhouse kicked so fast that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed amelia eirhart as she was flying over the pacific
chuck norris,is one of the best actors of all time. i wish he would make at least one more movie.
chuck norris roundhouse kicked every one of north koreas missles causing them to fail miserably
the dinosaurs looked at chuck norris wrong once…….just once.
chuck norris breast hairs are so strong they use them as a matrerial to make houses instead of wood
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Every time you masterbate, ChuCK NoRRis punches a mexican baby in the face!
curiosity didnt kill the cat….chuck norris did
there are no tornados…its just chuck norris roundhouse kicking dirt
if chuck norris had his way there would be only 1 hour in a day
chuck norris doesnt use curtains..he just blinks when he wants no light
chuck norris Makes shit happen
evolution didnt kill the dinosaures…chuck norris didnt want them around anymore
oj was running from chuck norris
chuck norris never eats cause he feeds off your fears
there will always be a spot in your heart for chuck norris cause chuck norris put it there
chuck norris wanted to play Rocky instead of stallone..but he turned the roll down cause he couldnt roundhouse kick his opponent
when chuck norris stares at you..hes thinking how many roundhouse kicks it would take to kill you
only chuck norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop
the da vinci code is within chuck norris’s beard
there are no rules..just guidelines chuck norris wrote for mankind
chuck norris named himself
chuck norris doesnt use matches..he roundhouse kicks the charcoal to make it spark
chuck norris showed the caveman how to grow a beard
it doesnt matter if you win or lose…. its if chuck norris allows you to play the game
chuck norris once built a house, solely made from his beard
there is no sun..just light chuck norris allows you to have
there is no heaven or hell just a place chuck norris sends you after he kills you
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Chuck Norris’ beard is the cure for many known diseases unfortunately the only way to shave nim is the power if his own roundhouse kicks.
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chuk norris is the fuken man
chuk norris was walking down the red carpet 2 receiv his best round house kick award an a femail fan screamd CAN I HAV UR AUTOGRAPH and he round house kicked her in the face ur welcom he sais
this is to the pirate ur rong he was actuley tort by bruce lee u idiot
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It’s true that Chuck Norris does not have to use spell check as, if his spelling differs from that in the dictionary, Oxford quickly order a reprint.
But some of you morons would certainly benefit from it!
When chuck Norris is bored he knits sweaters, and by sweaters I mean babies and by knit I mean roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris once drank so much BEER, he shit an entire crop of barley and hops
When children go to sleep at night, they check under the bed for the boogyman. When the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang”.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
why doesnt chuck norris have pubic hair?
Hair doesnt grow on steel
when chuck norris goes to bed he doent use the switch he roundhouse kicks the light bulb and gets into bed before its dark
Chuch Norris eats the red smarties whenever the fuck he wants.
chuck norris doesn’t go hunting, because hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck norris goes killing
the entire movie anaconda was filmed in chuck norris’ pants.
Chuck norris requires a concealed weapons permit in all fifty states just to wear pants.
there are no weapons of mass destruction in iraq, chuck norris lives in oklahoma.
chuck norris just won the nobel peace prize from mother terresa. her roundhouse kicked her in the face, and she was ko’d in .35 seconds.
Chuck norris caught all 150 pokemon in 1.4 seconds, it took him 1 second just to get the ball out of his pocket
Chuck Norris doesn’t get addicted to heroin, heroin gets addicted to Chuck Norris
chuck norris has muscle in his balls
chuck norris once threw on a 200lbs ruck sack and decided to walk across the country. After 20 feet he was pulled over for speeding by the police. chuck proceeded to roundhouse kick both officers and beat the crap out of them with said ruck sack
Chuck Norris makes easy mac the hard way
Chuck Norris stopped the hand of time, but he forgot the legs so it kept running untilChuck roundhoue kicked it into a coma and sed,”Dont fuck with Chuck.”
chuck norris and run so fast around the world, he can punch himself in the back of the head
Would a lightsaber hurt superman?Not if Chuck Norris has anything to say about it.
When God said “Let their be light”, It was Chuck Norris who kicked the sun on.And made the earth spin.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself.
The weather is 100% accurate 100% of the time where Chuck Norris lives. Not because of technology. They’re afraid to be wrong.
Chuck Norris has never used a microwave. He just rapidly kickes around the cold food items and heats it in under a second.
Chuck Norris has mad skills.
God gave us legs so Chuck Norris could be born.
why did the chicken cross the road? it was gettin the fuck out of chuck norris’ way.
Chuck Norris rhymes with Orange.
No one plays games with Chuck Norris, because playing a game suggests you have a chance at winning
sorry tde but as much as i love chuck norris, he is not god…Lemmy is god!
When Chuck Norris was born, he was born feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face, no one delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris….BITCH!
-chuck norris went to burger king, ordered a big mac, and got it.
-chuck norris is better than zezima at runescape.
-chuck norris ate jenny AND craig.
-you can throw away a banana peel, but you can’t chuck norris.
-why was 6 afraid of 7?
because se-CHUCK NORRIS.
-chuck norris once took a dump. THAT dump is now known as north dakota, and traces of it can be found as far as hamilton, new zealand.
-chuck norris owns the BEST poker face in the world. it helped him win the 1983 poker championship with :
-a 6 of hearts
-a 3 of clubs
-a 2 of spades
-a green 3 from uno
-a monopoly “get out of jail free” card.
-chuck norris was once asked to kick a goal whilst playing grid iron. he quickly declined the ball, and instead used a 6 month old baby.
he kicked the kid over 400 feet and the proceeded to bang every woman in the stadium.
-when chuck norris was born, the youngest nurse said “oh my god! that’s chuck norris!” and immediately had sex with him. he shortly thereafter grew a beard.
-chuck norris gave jesus the gift of beard.
-chuck norris was given the role of darth maul in star wars : episode one. he was fired shortly after he ate all the light sabers, 64 costumes, and half the set.
tornadoes are caused by chuck norris sneezing
chuck norris invented the internet… and language
Wow its amazing how many stupid people leave comments like this. you’re ruining all chuck norris jokes ever. so please get a life
Chuck Norris huffed and puffed and blew the brick house down
splater art was invented when chuck norris had the idea to rapidly rouhdhouse kick someone in the face transfering the blood of it to white papper.
death didnt go to see Chuck Norris,Chuck Norris went to see death.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a knife in a gun fight he has the round house.
“Chuck Norris,” that’s what she said.
Im chuck and i will round house kick all of you………………. after raping you dads.
When Chuck Norris was born he came out feet first so that he could roundhouse kick the doctor coz no-one delivers Chuck Norris except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now known as The Islands
Chuck Norris once walked down the main street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris has actually been dead for ten years but the grim reaper doesn’t have the courage to tell him
Chuck Norris is suing the Bubblegum Company claiming that “8 meters of fun” is the name of his penis.
Chuck Norris shot JR
chuck norris doesn’t take cover, cover takes Chuck Norris…
when the grim reaper goes to a costume party he dresses up as CHUCK NORRIS