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Monthly Archives: March 2008
Do you really know your theology?
Who was the 3rd man in history to walk on water?
The 1st one was Christ.
The 2nd was the apostle Peter.
Then there was this guy Jose…
Posted in pictures
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Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin, 3 hours later saw the same 4 men with the same coffin.
Thought to myself, they’ve lost the fuckin plot
Posted in Uncategorized
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A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in…
P…..
E…..
N…..
I…..
S…..
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
PASSWORD DENIED – NOT LONG ENOUGH
Posted in Men Jokes
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An older man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room he says, ” I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.”
The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?”
The w ife yells back to him, “GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!”
Posted in Uncategorized
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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his
response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
“Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”
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A couple in their seventies went to a sex therapist’s office in Brisbane ..
The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The old man said, “Will you watch us have sex?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple had finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have sex,” and charged them $50. This happened
several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, and then leave. Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?”
The old man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $170. We do it here for $50 and I get $43 back from Medicare.
Is Queensland great or what?”
Posted in Sex Jokes
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